from now on my penis is your penis
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
