upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
