ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
