you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
