god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
