Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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