I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My dick has a subreddit
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
