If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
