Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
