I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
