You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
