Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
