sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Randomize
