so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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