did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
