two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
