Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
