good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
