Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
