I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
