if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
