i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
