U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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