If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
