found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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