oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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