so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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