it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
