but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
