This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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