On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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