i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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