Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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