dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
