Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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