Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
