that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
