I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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