Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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