a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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