i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
