Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
