Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
