The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
