I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
