We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
