So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
this will be a night to untag.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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