D3 body, D1 cock
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
