i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
