so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
