Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
