Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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