Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
