Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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